


For Now It Is

by 6PomegranateSeeds



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6PomegranateSeeds/pseuds/6PomegranateSeeds
Summary: A moment in the hallway during The Yoko Factor





	For Now It Is

The words hang heavy between them. A year ago they'd both have been stumbling over them to fix it, to right it, to apologize for these wrongs. But it was not a year ago. They were here. Now. 

He probably shouldn't have said it. The words had spilled out of his mouth before his brain could catch up. This is the new him, more relaxed, more free. Being away from her is good for his constitution it seems, his brooding much less pronounced. A year ago he would have carefully chosen each sentence he'd spoke to her. It wasn't a year ago.

She can't think of anything to say beyond "You're right." and an "I know" with entirely more syllables than needed. So she says nothing.

This was how things always are between them. No matter their new natural states, being near and together throws them off their game. Between the pair they could come up with a million reasons why, but in all honesty it is the pang of being near that does it. The physical manifestation of their unbreakable and ongoing connection. Her temper runs too hot and he stays too calm and it's when they crash into each other that balance seems to restore. They are rubber bands and when they finally come back in contact the force is almost always painful.

She doesn't care if the boy inside her room could tell that the thud against the wall was her body backing up against it as her tall, dark, and handsome ex-boyfriend leans over her. She wishes he would thread his fingers through her hair, tilt her head up and take her lips in a kiss. How many mausoleums & alleys had they stood in this position? Why even in the fluorescent glow of the dorm hallway is it always graveyards with him?

"How could he not have known it wasn't really you?" He could be yelling for all she cares, but he's not. The words are a whisper, cold against her flushed face. He isn't yelling and every inch of her body is screaming because it's been so long since he's touched her, since he's been this close.

He can tell her body is humming. Her breaths are short with excitement and longing and a little fear and a lot love. He can tell the last time she took a shower and he can tell the last time she ate. He can hear her blood pumping, singing through her whole body. He knows he'd have been able to tell if someone else had been in her skin. The marine on the other side of the wall is an idiot and so lucky because not only will he not kill him, the soldier will get to crawl back in bed with the brightest ray of sunshine he's ever known. He'd let her burn him alive if he didn't know it'd kill her in the process.

She worries Faith will have been better. Undoubtedly having already learned ways to twist and maneuver her body's supernatural strength, flexibility, and stamina into something to be remembered. She doesn't want to ask, doesn't want to know the differences. And in a million ways she doesn't care right in this moment because Angel is pressed against her and she can't think all the way straight.  He is a ghost, a shadow in her life that she cannot, and will not shake. The memory of his lips is even stronger as they brush against her ear and seem to linger near her own mouth.

She knows he's right. When she finally speaks, "Well he doesn't have all those vampire senses", the spell is broken. Okay, maybe the spell is bent, retreated, temporarily rendered null until the next time it rears its head. He laughs, a slow smile spread across his face and he pushes up against the wall and moves away from her. If she's quipping at him she's probably feeling better.

He doesn't kiss her.

He turns and leaves and says "I don't like him" and he means I'm sorry and I miss you and I love you and for now that has to be enough. For now it is.

She smiles with a little laugh and tells him "Thanks" and she means I'm doing this because you told me to and I wanted to hurt you and I hate that I did and I still love you and this is all we can have right now and for now that has to be enough. For now it is.


End file.
